For a little background I was looking for anomalies to run while we were quiet in lowsec. We were in a pirate alliance but everyone was AFK and me and you're mum decided to make some money. I was in a dead end system with no stations when this happened.
Everything below was written by You're Mum and is a direct copy and paste, it is NSFW...sort of.
The tail of fail (warning wall of text)
Myself and Andy were at one point part of a low sec group of pirates and griefers. Andy was merrily flying through lowsec looking for someone to bother when suddenly he spots a cyno in system, being the nosey bastard that he is he warps to said cyno and there all on its own is a lonely rorqual (with n00b cyno ship). I warped to andy in my onyx and pointed the rorq so that he couldn't jump, so far so good, what is all this fail you have been promised I hear you ask... well, We both start shooting him, my missiles count down till they need to reload and I see the bar go round then nothing happens. I check in my cargo.... I have no more missiles, I flew to blow up a rorq and I have nothing to shoot it with. In the mean time Andy has reshipped into his highest DPS ship he has locally (a tempest) and we are screaming in corp chat that we have a rorq tackled but everyone is afk looking at furry porn or something.
The rorq pilot logs off and this gives andy a chance to hit him while his modules aren't cycling and he is doing a half decent job at it till the pilot logs back in again and reactivates them. This has been going on for about 15-20 minutes and we now realise the best thing we can do is ransom the guy for as much isk as we can, we open a convo with him and work out a price - 2bill for us to stop pestering him and let him go. While he was deliberating people in corp chat finally started waking up and said that they were making their way to our system some 20 jumps out, one of the pilots said that he had a dread ready to go if we could get him a cyno, this left me and andy in a tough position should we just take the money and leave or should we let our corp get on a rorq kill and finish what we started....we Decided that the best course of action was to do both.
Andy ran back to get a cyno ship to drop the dread and I said to the guy that once he transferred the isk he was free to go. The pilot transferred the isk and I made some sort of excuse about cycle times or some such nonsense. Andy lands on field and lights cyno and in comes the friendly dread pilot.... "ohh,errr, guys does anyone have stront?" yup we had just dropped a dread that didn't have enough stront to go into siege. facepalm o\ The game is obviously up at this point so the rorq pilot os kicking off in our ransom chat channel so we are obviously our usual helpful selves saying things like "oh no the dread pilot has just never seen a rorq before and just wanted to see one in person" Andy flies off to get the idiot dread pilot some stront so we can finish this nearly 40 minute ordeal so that everyone can get pack to their lives. By this time the other pilots that were traveling their 20+ jumps have got in system and on the KM, finally the dread gets his stront and the rorq goes pop, everyone sings, eve gods rejoice and a rorqual pilot cries into his keyboard.
Plus me and Andy were each 1bill richer (yeah i know we are evil but meh what you gonna do)
Kill Mail was https://zkillboard.com/kill/24906339/ here.
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